Wow. What a day. Once again told how shit we are. I am of no support. I do nothing. All of this because we ask someone to try and understand Stanley – because we want the best for him. But instead, people actually believe that I am mentally unstable and pushing a diagnosis on him – I want him to have a problem. They are so oblivious to the struggles we have, to the support we so wish for. But to be honest, I give up trying now. Why would I want support from someone that thinks so low of me? I know I am far from being a perfect mum, and far from being a perfect wife, but really… am I that bad? I know I most definitely don’t clean as much as I should, but my priorities right now are my husband, my children, and my PhD (which is taking a total backseat because of all this). I have had no time to focus on the PhD – to be honest, I could give it all up right now – so cleaning is definitely bottom of my priority list. Today has just been shit. I try so hard to not let any of this get to me, especially when I am with the little ones, but sometimes it is hard not to take some of it in. What hurts me the most is that I haven’t been there for Stanley today. At times, I could barely talk to him because I was so upset. As much as I try to keep it all in, Stanley was very aware. He was jumping around and repeatedly saying “laugh, mummy, laugh”. He didn’t realise that this was breaking my heart even more. So, what has Stanley done today? Because I have been dealing with all of this… he has been left to it at times. Some of his best bits? Pasta and smoothie thrown all over the kitchen floor, and a whole roll of toilet roll flushed down the toilet. I didn’t tell him off. How could I? I apologised, and gave him the biggest squeeze. I can’t blame him for behaving the way he did when I haven’t been there for him today. But, that’s it now. I can’t let all of this affect the way that I am parenting Stanley and Nora. I need to be there for them, I don’t need this. I don't want to change the way I do things. I am not going to start disciplining him in a way that others think that I should. Oh, and to top it off, Nora has been so sicky… so we have had numerous outfit changes to juggle!

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Frugi duck dungarees 💛🦆

Another of my favourite finds for the little lady! I adore these #frugi duck dungarees, and could very easily get carried away buying so many cute outfits! 🦆💛 Since yesterday afternoon it feels like things have changed with bump… I thought it could have been the start of something yesterday, but so far not much else has happened. I do feel like her arrival could be imminent, but this could just be the feelings of the end of #pregnancy and being #38weekspregnant! #pregnancyupdate @welovefrugi #frugi #welovefrugi #babyclothing #babydungarees #dungarees #babyoutfit #instababies #babygirl #babygirlclothes #babygirloutfit #childrensclothes #childrensclothing #phdmum #phdmom #phdmama #pregnancy #pregnancylife #pregnancyjourney #nursery #nurserydecor #38weeks #nurseryideas #nurseryinspo #puddleducks

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Morning cuddles with bump

From city life to the country

#MummyShot; the sun is shining (in contrast to this mornings frosty and foggy start) and reminding me of summer days spent in the fields when we were contemplating moving home. Fast forward a few months and we decided to make the jump from city life, to the country. Now living on a farm, surrounded by fields, and I couldn't be more excited for our first Spring / Summer in our new home as a family of four! Bring on the adventures! Also, when I eventually find myself getting back into the swing of the #phdthesis, I figure that this will be the perfect, peaceful, location for writing up – at least, here's hoping! ❤ #ishouldbewriting #ruralliving #farmhouse #countrysidelife #countrysidewalk #phdlife #phdchat #phdmum #phdmom #phdmama

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The look of amazement at a balloon

Baby kicks

Time to work? Think again