When reaching out for support with Stanley… to family… to another mum… the last thing you expect to be told is what a shit parent you are. What a shit wife you are. Am I actually losing my mind? This (for a moment) made me question my own sanity. I have been told that Stanley has no issues. The only issues he has is that I don’t say no. He has learned behaviour. He doesn’t have autism. He recognises facial expressions. He acts appropriately. He shows remorse. He interacts with children. He shares his feelings. He stands change. I want to find a problem. I want an excuse for his behaviour. Stanley needs to learn how to behave. It’s very unfair on him. I need to realise how to discipline him. Stanley is fine. I am trying to convince my husband that something is wrong with his son – this isn’t how he was brought up. The fact I am a researcher is the worst. All I have done is read about autism, and seeing it is very different (oops, I forgot that my previous job was in a hospital working with people who were on the spectrum). On top of the issues I cause with Stanley, I don’t support my husband. I have changed him. I make him do everything. But… would you believe it… nobody is judging me. Well, boy am I glad that someone knows my son (and my relationship) much better than I do! And, much better than a Psychologist! I have to be strong for Stanley right now. We don't need this. I can’t surround myself with people who think this about us… about me. How can I be the best mum for Stanley when I am around people that are constantly judging every move that I make… every word that I say? It is not fair on Stanley. I have tried so hard. I really have. All we asked for is respect and compassion. A shoulder to cry on… for someone to listen. I respect any mum in how they parent their children. Who am I to judge? I need to #motherlikenoonesjudging, and I can’t do that around #mothersthatareconstantlyjudging. I will be strong. I will be the best mummy that I can to Stanley and Nora… and if that means trying to get help and support for Stanley… if that means stepping away from family that Stanley cares so much for… then that is what I will do. #motheringlikeaboss #stronggirlsclub

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